Café of Broken Dreams

Poco Loco and the Picnic at the Pristine Park of Pallarenda

2010-05-03T13:21:00.001+10:00

Pallarenda Park!
We had a lovely time eating, walking on the beach, playing with hermit crabs, climbing on gun emplacements, and leaping 2-metre trenches. Rawr!
Gave up Groovin' the Moo for this, but I'd have to say it was well worth it. Kudos Poco.

Photo album here!

The Crimson Seal

2010-05-02T19:38:00.003+10:00

My patient looked at me with tears in her eyes and forced a smile. We had just had a difficult conversation about her Not For Resuscitation status.

'Have you ever met anyone like me?' she asked.

For a moment, I didn't know what she meant.
Then I realized she was talking about her situation, her pain, her emotions, her choices at death's door.

I closed my eyes for a moment and managed a rueful smile of my own. 'Unfortunately, I have.'
Her family echoed their agreement. They could tell I had done this before. They knew the weight carried by one of my calling.
They knew, as I knew, that it was not my first time talking to someone about how they were going to pass on from this world. They knew, as I knew, that it would be far from my last.

I rose and shook all their hands in turn. While before, they had exuded nervousness and careful distance, now they clasped my hand warmly in both their own. Their eyes were filled with tears and with gratitude.
I left them to spend some time together.
I myself was filled with a strange guilt that I was being thanked so profusely for such a painful discussion.
A strange guilt, that for all the hours I had spent studying the exalted Art, and despite the silver-framed declaration with the crimson seal that I had dedicated the better part of my life to acquiring; there was, all too often, so little I could do.

Poco Loco and the Brilliant Quarter Century

2010-04-26T20:56:00.015+10:00

I am insanely annoyed by the fact that I can't remember how to embed a remotely hosted picture on my blog, which will pop-up in a new window when you click it.
Insanely. Annoyed.

Photo album here!

Chinese New Year 2010

2010-04-26T20:04:00.001+10:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Photo album here!

Journey to the North

2010-04-26T19:58:00.003+10:00

Cairns, Mission Beach, and Paronella Park!

Photo album here!

Remember the compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

2010-04-21T20:30:00.005+10:00

'This one is really good. Make sure you don't let him go.' - Patient, to Surg Consultant

'I just wanted to let you know that your patient thinks you are wonderful.' - Surgical Clinic Nurse

'I've got a compliment for you. You guys are so easy to talk to, so easy to approach. My student was telling me how she's done rotations in many places and didn't feel comfortable talking to doctors, but it's not like that with you.' - Hawt Dietician

'Listen, I know this job can be very demanding, but you are really doing great.' - Surg Reg

'You remember how we talked about how wonderful that surgeon was? Well, I know that you are going to become just like him someday.' - Patient

And just like that, all the 12 hour days and verbal abuse and missed meals and bad attitudes and random callouts were worth putting up with.
Of course, the fatass paycheck helped too.

Tragus

2010-04-15T21:29:00.004+10:00

WOOHOO!!!

In keeping with a sort of tradition I have of getting a new piercing at major new phases of my life, I gone' done mah tragus.

Got my first, 'normal' lobe piercing in highschool.
Did the cartilage when I was in IMU.
Did the second lobe piercing myself when I was in UQ, Brisbane.
And now, tragus in commemoration of doctoratin' in da Townsville.

More to come! Will probably go to 7.

A Weekend in the Life of The Cannulator

2010-04-12T20:38:00.005+10:00

5.00 pm Friday -
The Cannulator is called in. A patient has had 4 cannulation attempts made on them. The patient is angry. The patient is threatening to self-discharge and sue.
The Cannulator cannulates the patient in one attempt. The patient thanks him and asks to shake his hand.

5.15 pm Friday -
The Cannulator rushes home and packs in 15 minutes. He digs out his PADI license to use for the first time in SIX YEARS.

5.30 pm Friday -
The Cannulator starts out on the journey to Cairns with The Salty Surginator and Smiley Riley a.k.a Liley-Chan.
Everyone goes batshit insane in the car.

10.00 pm Friday -
Night of drunken debauchery at Bellavista and the streets of Cairns lol

**********************
12.00 pm Saturday -
Sunbathing and swimming at the Esplanade by the mud flats!

2.00 pm Saturday -
Market! Trinkets! Tropical fruit! Cheese!

3.00 pm Saturday -
Cairns Central shopping centre has Tarocash AND y.d. OMGWTF SERIOUSLY.
Delicious sushi and green tea for lunch!

8.00 pm Saturday -
BBQ party at Clint's, Sergei's, Jim's, Skye's, Matt's, and Jess' on the balcony overlooking the pool by the light of suspended candles!

**********************
7.30 am Sunday -
The sky was cloudless and the sun was up. The water was as blue crystal. We boated out into the beyond in the midst of a fresh salt spray from a quiet calm. We dropped anchor.

There, I crossed 'Dive the Great Barrier Reef' off my Bucket List.

It was a perfect day.

Elusive One.

2010-04-05T01:53:00.002+10:00

Once again, I find that sleep eludes me.

There is a dull empty ache where my heart would be, if I still had one.
I don't; so all it is, is an emptiness set in an emptiness, but it is one that is keeping me from that oblivion of the night.

This is irksome. I shall surely be a creature made entirely of fangs and seething hatred tomorrow, even more so than is usual for me.

The wise would do well not to earn an eternal grudge from me in the morn; I promise it would be a particularly vicious one.

There are four and a half hours remaining. I shall grapple once more with these demons and attempt to find some quiet. Wish me luck.

Salty Evans

2010-04-03T23:36:00.004+10:00

Me: Hey Sally... is that all you're having for dinner? A little plate of calamari?

Sally: Oh yeah... you see, I was cooking today, and I bla bla bla bla *at this point I zoned out and did not absorb any of what she was saying because she was diligently shaking salt onto her hand* bla bla bla bla, bla!

Me: Um, Sally?

Sally: Yes?

Me: I actually didn't pay any attention to what you just said because... well... why are you salting your hand?!

Sally: Oh! *looks sheepish* I just wanted to check what was in the shaker.

Me: By... SALTING YOUR HAND?

Sally: Ok fine, I wanted a salty hand!

Me: Seriously, though. You don't have to do that! Just look on top of the shaker, and if it's one hole, it's salt. See? One hole, salt. And this one over here; one hole, salt. You don't have to salt your hand each time!

Sally: :(

Debbie: Hey, can you pass me some pepper?

Me: Sure. Lesee... one hole, salt. This one's salt too. Ah, here we go. 5 holes. See, Sally? FIVE HOLES. PEPPER.

Debbie: *shakes 5-hole shaker on food.* This is SALT.

Sally: Hah! HAH!!!! THERE GOES YOUR HOLES THEORY! HAHHHHHH

Me: Gawdammit.

*************************************
Me: Hey Sally... what's that over there?

Sally: Where? *Looks behind her carefully*

Me: *Steals a piece of calamari*

Sally: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Me: Hehehehe... I actually didn't expect you to fall for that. But you did, so I was like... might as well!

Sally: Well I didn't think you were this horrible!

Me: Hehehe... ok fine, have some of my lamb shank.

Sally: I most certainly will, now! *cuts off a small piece of lamb* That's yours. THE REST IS MINE.

Me: :(

Poco Loco and the Pet Monkey's Song of Salmonella

2010-04-02T00:17:00.006+10:00

We were out shopping for groceries, when unexpectedly Poco turned the conversation to diarrhoea, fibre, babies pooping in shopping trolleys, brocolli bring rubbed in said poop, more fibre, urinary habits, and salmonella.

Poco: Salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella!

Me: Oh. Wow. You've... you've made a song out of it. Just... wow.

Poco: Salmonella!

Me: Uh huh.

Poco: Salmonella salmonella salmonella salmonella!

Me: Er. Okay. So you've made a song out of it, and you're GOING TO KEEP SINGING IT.

Poco: Salmonella salmonella salmonella

Me: Oh gawd wtf.

Poco: Isn't it awesome? It's like that Cinderalla song!

Me: Right. Just like that. Yes.

Poco: Right?! Like, with all the animals coming out to sing together and stuff! Just like that! Salmonella!

Me: Yes. The, uh... the resemblance is simply uncanny.

Poco: SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA

Me: You should call in sick tomorrow. Tell them it's diarrhoea. Then sing them the Salmonella Song. They'd totally buy it.

Poco: SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA SALMONELLA

Me: *stabs eardrums with rusty fork*

********************************************
Later, at the cinema.

Me: Should we watch this movie tonight? The queue is pretty long. Guess we could come back and watch it tomorrow.

Poco: But I'm working tomorrow!

Me: Yes, but WE aren't. So WE can watch it.

Poco: Yeah, but you guys love me and you'll watch it with me! Right?

Everyone: ........

Me: Didja notice that awkward silence right there?

Poco: Ok fine... I know, I know. I'm like a pet monkey and you only keep me around so you have something to laugh at.

Me: That is RIDICULOUS. Of course not! For one thing, monkeys can do tricks. Can YOU do tricks?

Poco: Um...

Me: I didn't think so. So no, a pet monkey would be an upgrade. If we had a pet monkey, you would be obsolete.

Poco: :'(

Me: Alright, alright! Don't get upset. I was just kidding. Monkeys throw poop. You don't throw poop, so you're slightly better than a pet monkey.

Poco: Are you SURE I don't throw poop?

Me: Uh oh. TIME TO GET A PET MONKEY.

The Mysterious Case of the Empty Wound Drain

2010-03-31T19:43:00.004+10:00

Surgeon: You are on the ward. Your post-thyroidectomy patient is bleeding. How do you tell?

Resident: Err... I'd see blood? In the drain?

Surgeon: NOTHING IN THE DRAIN. BUT SHE'S BLEEDING. HOW DO YOU KNOW?

Resident: I'd-

Surgeon: She's dying! She's bleeding! She can't breathe! WTF! What do you do?!

Resident: I, um-

Surgeon: SHE'S DEAD YOU SUCK AND YOU'RE FIRED HAHA!

Resident: :(

*********
Conversation altered for dramatic effect.

Serum Awesome Level

2010-03-24T19:55:00.006+10:00

Man, pharmacists are awesome.
I wanna keep mine in a small jar to carry around with me so I can have a voice that tells me what PBS quantities and strengths my meds come in without me looking them up.
But I'd poke air holes in the lid, of course. I'm not uncivilized like Poco.

Or my pharmacist is awesome anyway (Ann). I called her that to her face once; and by that I mean 'my pharmacist', not 'awesome' (I wouldn't do the latter cos in general we are forever locked in a friendly but don't-get-caught-in-the-crossfire-or-your-nosehairs-will-be-singed insult fest).
I was getting some meds sorted with her when I stepped away for a moment and Samantha the Endo RMO grabbed a quick consult with Ann.
I came back and was like 'HEYYY! YOU STOLE MY PHARMACIST!'
to which Sam replied with 'BLEAGH!' :P
and Ann responded with 'YOUR pharmacist?!' o_O
and I just went 'LITERALLY Owned!' :D

Ann later went off to rant about how cheeky I was, and said it was 'almost' a compliment.
Hah! Liessss. She was chuffed.

She described me thus to her intern Jenny:
'Kah Heng is the doctor with the ear full of earrings, funky hair, and funky clothes. I haven't introduced you to him yet because he's like, WTF batshit insane. He will be wearing black today.'
My response to this was 'YOU'LL MISS ME WHEN I'M GONE.'
For the record, on that day I wore teal (yes, I know it's gay that I even know the name of that colour let alone wore it) and I was like 'HAH, ANN! HAHHHH'.
Also, unlike the dull monochromatic boring garden snail Ann was making me out to be, I have a large variety of clothing colour options such as black with grey stripes and grey with black stripes. Lies, Ann!

But anyway I finished Internal Medicine last week and have since started on Surgery. The patient load went from 50 to 3. We finished our ward work in about 12.7 seconds or some shit. So I wandered downstairs to see what everyone was up to back in my old stomping grounds.

Ann was in the nurse's office with Jenny, sorting out a pile of about 957 med charts, looking obviously frustrated and more than a little like it was a shit day.
I opened with 'Whazzupppppppp.' (because after years of sleep deprivation and alcohol in med school, that's what my conversational skill now amounts to)
'Oh it's you!'
'You look like you're having a bad day.'
She nodded. 'Come back!' :(
'Huh?'
'I want you guys back.' she said sadly.
At this point I was like 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! That's schoooo schweeeetttt!'
(but I didn't say it out loud, cos that would be gay. The teal thing was gay enough)

So instead I gave her a piece of gum, rubbed it in her face that I had nothing to do except surf Facebook, listen to music, chew gum, sip coffee, and fill out nonsensical orders on pathology forms (at the SAME TIME omgwtf), then went downstairs to the lounge to get more coffee.
Lulz.

The End.

If you are now thinking that I have wasted 10 minutes of your life with that ridiculously pointless blurb, THEN YOU ARE RIGHT, AND FOR THAT YOU WIN A YELLOW TOENAIL CLIPPING.

PS: I swear, Alex is a small clone of Sam. Sam has a cloning vat somewhere. She is producing small clones of herself to take over the hospital with. Soon, we will be overrun with small Sams. Or 'Alexs', as they call themselves. And they will do Sam-ish things like steal all the pharmacists and make phone calls to male strippers and smack innocent doctors on their backs with patient lists. Intolerable! THEY MUST BE STOPPED.
No wait!
WHAT IF SAM WAS A LARGE CLONE OF ALEX?! OMGWTF MY MIND IS BLOWN.
I have to go check myself into acute mental health services now. Kthxbai.

PPS: Alex is short for Alexandra, just as Sam is short for Samantha. Coincidence?
I THINK NOT.
Also, 3 + 4 is the same as 4 + 3!!! The significance of this will become clear to you in time.

Poco Loco and the Continent of Squishedness

2010-03-14T22:28:00.004+10:00

Poco: If you could have super-powers, what would you pick?

Me: Hmm... tough one. Does it have to be just one power? Can I pick like, a superhero and have ALL his powers?

Poco: I dunno, what difference does it make? What do you want?

Me: I'd be like, Superman!

Poco: Why, what can he do?

Me: Wat. You don't know what Superman can do!? He can fly, can lift like a bajillion tonnes, has X-ray vision TO SEE THROUGH CLOTHES WITH, can SHOOT FRIGGIN LASERS OUT OF HIS EYES...

Poco: LOL okay, okayyyy I get it! No you can't be greedy.. pick one!

Me: Hmmm.... flight I guess.

Poco: Really?

Me: Or maybe teleportation. Flight's just plain awesome, but teleportation would be crazy useful.

Kai Yang: I wanna be indestructible!

Me: Wha? How often are you gonna use that? Survive your weekly 7 car highway pileup or something?

Kai Yang: :(

Me: Well ok, I guess you could have fun with it. Climb a skyscraper and jump off and slam into a pavement to scare bystanders I suppose. Actually... that DOES sound pretty awesome.

Kai Yang: :)

Me: What would you want, Poco?

Poco: Hmmmmmm.... Time travel!

Me: Wat.

Poco: Mmm-hmm! :3

Me: Poco, you can't time-travel. That's naughty. Didn't you read A Sound of Thunder? Imagine if you went back in time and stepped on an ant which was going to pollinate a flower which would have evolved into a crop which was going to be cultivated to sustain a population which would have grown to colonize an entire continent. DO YOU WANT TO SQUISH AN ENTIRE CONTINENT, POCO?! DO YOU?!

Poco: :S

Me: Or what if you traveled into the future and arrived on a road where your future self was driving and she ran you over with a large lorry with 32 wheels? Your present self would be killed which means she could not have lived to become the future self to run over the present self which means that the present self would not have died which means that logic is screwed over AND THE UNIVERSE WOULD FREAKING COLLAPSE ON ITSELF. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IS ITTT?! DON'T TIME TRAVEL, POCO. DON'T DO THAT SHIT. KEEP IT CIVILIZED!

Poco:......

Me: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! NO TIME TRAVEL! IT'S NAUGHTY!

Poco: You. Are. CRAZY.

Me: LOL

Beer Dare Fridays Part 2

2010-03-14T21:02:00.005+10:00

Me: Hey Margit!

Margit: Whazzup!

Me: Do you know what you're doing next Friday?

Margit: Yes, I'm going to Magnetic Island!

Me: Not that!

Margit: ?

Me: That other much more important thing!

Margit: Hmmmm..... Oh my dare?!

Me: Yes! FOR A BEER: You will wear a blue glove ON YOUR EAR for one hour. When asked about it, you will reply thusly; 'I AM DOING RESEARCH ON THE MATING RITUALS OF EARWIGS.'

Margit: WAT.

Me: Yesssssss!

Margit: Nuh-uhhhhhh!

Me: DO ITTTTT. EARWIGSSSSSS

Margit: Nowai!

Me: You know you want that beer!

Margit: Yeah, but I have to want the beer more than I Don't want to do the dare!

Me: Nonsense! I didn't want a beer more than I Didn't want to wheel myself to EMU! But I did it, cos I am awesome! Are you awesome, Margit?

Margit: Not that awesome, I'm not.

Me: Dammit.

*A few days later:*

Me: Ok how's this? FOR A BEER: You will carry around a urine specimen bottle filled with lemonade and a faeces specimen bottle, BOTH WITH YOUR NAME ON THEM. When asked about it, you will look VERY MYSTERIOUS and reply with 'JUST IN CASE.'

Margit: OMG.

Me: FOR THE BEER, MARGIT! FOR THE BEEEEERRRRRRR

Margit: Alrightttt fineeeee

Me: Muahahahhahahaha!

*Friday:*

Me: Here ya go! *Hands over specimen bottles*

Margit: :'(

Me: FOR THE BEER!

Margit: I change my mind.

Me: YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ON THE DAY OF THE BEER DARE!

Margit: *Runs away*

Me: Grrr rawr! *Leaves bottles in Doctor's office in plain sight* HEY EVERYONE! LOOK WHAT MARGIT DID!

Beer Dare Fridays

2010-02-20T10:31:00.002+10:00

Internal Medicine Team B (B stands for BEST) is in the doctor's office preparing a handover list for the weekend. As usual, there aren't enough chairs.

Kah Heng: We should get some of the Occupational Therapy stuff to sit on!

Margit: Let's do it. *Grabs a walker-stool*

Kah Heng: *Grabs a wheelchair.*

Margit: Pssst. I dare you to wheel yourself to the Emergency Medical Unit.

Kah Heng: Oooooooh. What do I get for doing it?

Margit: I'll buy you a beer!

Kah Heng: It is onnnnnnnn. Get your purse ready, sister! *Wheel-wheel-wheel*

Margit: LOL

Kah Heng: This is funnnnn.... but more tiring than I thought. Ok. Gotta keep a straight face. Gotta look sad and serious.

Margit: Soooo... what happened to your legs?

Kah Heng: *Sniff*... I was.... snowboarding.... AND I TRIPPED OVER A HIPPO!

Margit: LOLWTF

We pass various nurses, doctors, and other staff on the way. They give me some strange looks. Some of pity, some of confusion as to whether or not I really need a wheelchair, or whether I'm just being a jackass. Some just avert their eyes. We get to the EMU ward. A nurse pushing a bed is unsure whether to move it out of the way for me, but I quickly wheel myself backwards to clear a path. The EMU nurses pretend that a crippled doctor is something they see every day. I wheel myself into the EMU doctor's office.

Kristen: WTF?

Kah Heng: Wooohooo! I have earned myself a beer!

Kristen: I wish I was on Team B. You guys seem to have so much fun.

Kah Heng: Thaaaaatt'sss right. B for BEST, baby!

Van Quynh: Why are you in a wheelchair?!

Kah Heng: BECAUSE I'M SICK! *sob sob*

Van Quynh: (-_-")

And after much alcohol, we decided that night that Beer Dare Fridays will now become a time-honoured ancient and sacred tradition.

Stay tuned for Margit's dare next week!

La Historia de la Amiga Poco Loco

2010-02-08T23:46:00.001+10:00

Happy birthday, Poco!
Also, to myself. Happy birthday me! May I grow ever awesomer... difficult, because it's hard to improve on something already so awesome, but I will try nevertheless.

The celebration was legendaryyyyyy. There was fireworks and explosions and guns and booze and girls in bikinis and raw meat.
Ok not really, except for the booze and the meat.

Proper update with pics and stuff when I have a connection to upload them with.

Until then, much love from the City by the Sea. Muax all.

Curtain

2009-12-18T10:43:00.003+10:00

Hello.

It has been years since I saw you last.
I know that you will never read this.
I know that it is time to forget you, as you have forgotten me.
The world keeps spinning. The clock keeps ticking. And life must go ever on.
I know that I will never hold you. Never kiss you. I know that things will not change. Nothing will fall into place. I know that you will never be mine.
And that is alright.
Yet even as I strive to forget you and move on, know that in a way, I will always be yours.
I wish you every possible happiness, my old friend.

Goodbye.

I have been sent here to destroy you.

2009-12-17T21:57:00.002+10:00

Went to toss out the oversized trash yesterday with Eugene.
'Twas our last day together as housemates, but certainly not as Bros. And it's not like I'm saying goodbye to some deadly hot femme fatale; it's Eugene, so I'm not emo bwahahaha.

So anyway, we gathered up a bunch of refuse too large to be disposed of conventionally; things like our old couch, broken chairs, a large photo print, metal rods, and gigantic pieces of laminated wood (yeah, ye olde housemate sure does like his giant planks of wood). We tossed them all the in the back of a ute (Australian lingo for utility truck) we rented and drove out to the nearest dump (transfer stations, they're called here. And garbagemen are probably called public hygiene technicians or some other bureacratic nonsense. A dump's a dump, right?).
They weigh your vehicle as you go in and again when you leave, then charge you per 100kg of refuse- all suprisingly high tech.
You then drive into this giant warehouse with a huge pit in the middle which is constantly being filled by garbage trucks. A huge, specially designed bulldozer drives up and down flattening everything and shoving it around, and visible clouds of dust and fumes hang in the air.
The smell was pretty strong, though not as bad as garbage trucks in Malaysia, for some reason. It's like even the trash is cleaner here.
You then reverse your ute up to the railing surrounding the pit, and manually move your trash in.
We were a bit grumbly about the whole affair up to this point, because it had basically been a boring and tiresome errand. What followed next was Legendary.
With bored expressions and glazed eyes we each picked up a piece of trash from the ute and tossed it into the pit. In that instant, our eyes lit up, the clouds parted, and a beam of light shot down from the heavens to illuminate the wondrous looks on our faces as we turned to look at each other, agape. Eureka.

Throwing large objects over a railing into a huge pit to be bulldozed is INCREDIBLY, CRAZILY FUN.

It was like the stress and frustration of 6 years of medical school and the final exam was being vented all at once, right there, right then.
And let me tell you this: it takes years to learn to create, but the talent for destruction is innate to us all, and an absolute ecstasy to indulge in.
With whoops of glee we cast metal rods like spears into the pit. We threw in the print and listened happily as the glass shattered and exploded into tiny slivers everywhere. The cushions flew in impressive arcs when flung backhanded like frisbees. And the couch landed with a very satisfying boom and collapsed under the impact of its own weight.

The only problem was that it was over all too soon. As suddenly as we had discovered the delight, we ran out of things to toss and the deed was done.
Still, the satisfaction was immense. The experience had been incredibly therapeutic, and with a victorious roar and a fist-bump, we drove off into the afternoon sun and cruised down the road alongside the river.

If you EVER get the chance, try it. It will be one of the most fun things you ever do.

By Apollo. By Asclepius. By Hygieia. By Panacea. By all that I hold most sacred.

2009-12-11T23:14:00.000+10:00

With purity and holiness I will pass my life and practice my art.

Friday, 11th December 2009.

I'm Sorry...

2009-12-08T23:51:00.006+10:00

I couldn't hear you over the sound of HOW AWESOME I AM.

Artist's depiction of a Doctor's Awesomeness Level. Actual results when seeking medical attention may vary. No guarantee is made of a doctor's ability to produce multiple upper limbs, levitate medical apparatus, control snakes, or set his fist on fire. Terms and conditions apply. Valid while stocks last. Void where prohibited. Void, baby.

Epic Win.

2009-12-04T15:39:00.001+10:00

MY NAME IS DOCTOR LEE.

ROARRRRR!!!!!

I HEREBY PERFORM THE LAST EVER *MEDICAL STUDENT SECRET OMEGA VICTORY DANCE OF VICTORINESS*

It is over.

2009-11-28T23:57:00.001+10:00

Or is it?

Massive fail? Or Epic Win?

Believe.

2009-11-28T12:00:00.000+10:00

28.11.09 -

FINISH THE FIGHT.

My Banana

2009-10-25T11:58:00.005+10:00

It tastes like alcohol.
No, that's not a euphemism for... never mind.

Anyway I keep a plate of fruit in my room (so I remember to eat them, and don't have to walk to get them), and bananas tend to ripen quite nicely at room temperature in the open.

When you leave them for awhile, say a week or so, the skin starts to get pretty black, and then when you finally decide that it's just too damn disgusting to leave them sitting there much longer and pop one open, lo and behold, the flesh inside is still nice and white and yummy looking, and then you take a bite and discover it's actually mildly fermented so you get a tangy alcohol taste which I have to say is AWESOME and that's your free alcohol for the day WTF and I really should be getting back to my studies now instead of talking about a banana that tastes like alchohol but let me know if you decide to try it and you really should please let me know and if this idea spreads like viral marketing among your friends and becomes really popular please give me credit thanks.

************************

Aidan * BoIng! | revo em pilf ,nwod edispu m'I says (12:08 PM):
what did you have for breakfast

- VoiD - Believe. says (12:08 PM):
2 italian spiced pork sausages with cheese and honey cured ham, 2 hard boiled eggs, a bunch of grapes, and an alcohol banana

- VoiD - Believe. says (12:09 PM):
and a packet of wasabi

Macrohard Lamedows Wimpternet Bleaghsplorer

2009-10-24T12:16:00.001+10:00

SCREW YOU.

Omg damn lame.

2009-10-07T21:17:00.005+10:00

Consultant: What's the difference between ventricular fibrillation and ventricular tachycardia? And how do you manage them?

Resident: It's all a little shocking.

Everyone: -_-"

Consultant: Good lord, that was terrible.

Resident: :P Teeheehee!

Consultant: In the cardioversion of supraventricular tachycardia, you use the 'Synchronize' function on the defibrillator to avoid a R on T rhythm, which would lead to ventricular fibrillation. Let's practice using that, shall we?

Resident: *Turns defibrillator on.* Hmmm. Sync about it.

Everyone: -_-""""""""

Consultant: OMG.

***************************
Sorry to those who don't understand all the medical mumbo-jumbo, but you should still be able to see how lame that was.

The Duck, the Rabbit, and the Cat

2009-10-01T22:17:00.008+10:00

I had a bizzare dream the other day.
Do ponder with me upon its possible significance.

So there I was, right. In some chick's house. I can't remember who it was.
This girl had three pets; a duck, a rabbit, and a cat. All of them were the purest snow white.

I was washing my hands at her bathroom sink when the duck plopped down into the toilet bowl.

Ugh.
Its body got jammed in rather deep and it was left with its head sticking out above the water.

'Well, I'll be a good friend and fish it out.' is what I thought.
'But I'm not gonna stick my hand in a potentially dirty toilet bowl. I'll give it a small flush first.'
So I hit the half-flush button on the toilet, and of course what should happen but the entire duck gets flushed away into the sewage.

Talk about toilet-duck.

'Whoops.' is what I thought at this point.

Up to this point it all makes a sort of strange but twisted sense, right? I mean, it's a strange dream, but you can see the logic in my train of thought here.

The thing that had me puzzling with tremendous WAT-ness when I woke up was what came next.

I proceeded to go 'Oh, well.', and gleefully flushed the rabbit and the cat down the toilet too.
Then I thought, 'Man, she's gonna be so pissed.', woke up, and went 'WAT.'

I guess I must be crazier and evil-er than I thought.
Which is quite an achievement because I constantly flaunt the fact that I'm PLENTY crazy and evil as it is.

So, does anyone have a pet that needs looking after?

Random Phone Pic Dump

2009-09-23T12:25:00.006+10:00

The end of the world omgwtf!

Nah, just a sandstorm. Here in Queensland, you get heat waves, lightning storms, flash floods, hail storms, super storms, and nuclear winters. Except for the nuclear winters bit.

WELCOME TO THE SUNSHINE STATE.

The lighthouse at Byron Bay!

It's one of the furthermost edges of Australia.

I forget which one.

Logic would dictate that it's furthestmost east, I suppose. Anyway nobody cares, just enjoy the view.

This is an owl that flew SMACK into the glass wall of the UQ building in Toowoomba. It collapsed and we thought it was dead. It popped back up a couple minutes later like a crazy flesh-eating undead voodoo zombie owl and flew off though. Probably to feast on the entrails of newborns everywhere. Fare thee well zombie owl!

Mount Dandenong in Melbourne.

Good trekking!

A vineyard in Melbourne where I stopped by with my uncle for a glass of red wine. Ah, decadence. I belong to thee.

And that's it for the random photodump this time. Shoo.

I dreamt I was a moron...

2009-09-17T19:58:00.001+10:00

THEN I WOKE UP AND REALIZED IT WASN'T A DREAM. FFFFFFFFUUUUU-

Please don't let me stumble at the second-last hurdle.

Health Lies in the Eye of the Beholder

2009-09-14T18:58:00.003+10:00

Me: So besides the heart attack you just had, the two previous heart attacks, the hole in your heart, the three strokes, narrowed neck arteries, narrowed leg arteries, narrowed arm arteries, diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol, do you have any other medical problems?

Patient X: Nope. I'm a very healthy person.

Me: Wait... WAT?

Patient X: I'm very healthy. I don't get sick. Just those little things bothering me.

Me: But... you just... you're... You know what? Never mind. *goes outside and bangs head on wall repeatedly*

Riverfire 2009

2009-09-12T22:38:00.003+10:00

I missed catching the opening of Riverfire; it starts with two supersonic jet fighters flying in low right over the river, fireworks boats and bridge. The jet flames were blue, and when they first appeared I had no idea what they were. It was eerily silent because the sound was behind the fighters, but as they passed overhead and the sonic-boom caught up, the crowd burst into cheers at the SHEER AWESOME. This video shows the beginning of the fireworks being set off from the two boats on the river.

This one shows fireworks being set off into the river from the other bridge in the distance (it looks like a golden burning waterfall!), as well as from the tops of the nearby skyscrapers.

The entire fireworks show was 30 minutes long, and this is just a segment of it. Apparently the fireworks were even seen from space!

The finale... the music dies down to an ambient beat, smoke hangs over the whole river and the boats fire off dim red flares while the speakers announce a countdown. Two orange fireballs appear on the horizon... the supersonic jet fighters are back, sporting a new coloured flame, and it's a pity you can't experience the sonic-boom for yourself as they blast overhead. The boats set off their final round, and the speakers blast Excalibur. Spectacular finish to a spectacular show.

Crazy-fast

2009-09-09T15:24:00.002+10:00

So here I am, not having slept at all last night and now having 3 cups' worth of caffeine and sugar rushing through my veins. I often paradoxically get hyper-alert and twitchy the day after not sleeping, and the added stimulants are making me positively TRANSCENDENT.

Everyone else seems to be moving and talking in slow motion. My senses of sight and hearing are razor-sharp; I can hear a butterfly's heartbeat in Africa (or maybe that's just the air-conditioning vent) and move at superhuman speeds (if twitching crazy-fast counts). I swear I could almost be some sort of coffee-powered superhero.
Espressoman. That would be me.

If only my concentration weren't shot to hell right now. What was I saying? I had a point to make and lots of entertaining anecdotes and life-changing advice to dispense, but I've forgotten it all now because my train of thought has moved on to the subject of fried dace with black beans. Mmm.

I promise to change your life next time.

The Bestie, The Box, The Carrots, and The Infective Pen

2009-09-09T02:19:00.009+10:00

I can't sleep.

Somnolence and I do not get along well with each other in the best of times, but occasionally I get a bout of insomnia so hair-rippingly bad that it drives me quite insane; and I don't mean anything like my usual level of craziness, which I willingly admit usually sits somewhere in between '2-scalpels-short-of-a-sternotomy-set' and 'will-bite-you-in-the-face-because-it's-2 pm-on-Wednesday'.

Sometimes, I just want to climb out of the bed I have been tossing and turning around in for the past 3 hours and just fucking stab you (YES YOU) in the eye with the blunt end of a drug-rep pen that I have swirled around in the toilet bowl of a patient from the infectious diseases ward.

If I take a promethazine 25 mg, I'll fall asleep in about half an hour, but tomorrow I will wake up feeling like I have a small zeppelin lodged inside the top of my skull, and possibly walk down the middle of the highway trying to get to hospital, or accidentally kill a patient by asking him to swallow an ECG machine (as I always say; if you kill someone, it should at least be on purpose).

So I'll sit here and type instead and hope that drowsiness will sooner or later begin to set in; preferably sooner because it's 2.35 a.m. and my alarm is set for 7.15, so later would mean that there wouldn't be much sleeping to do anyway.

Let me tell you about Bestie!

I was talking to Bestie today and I asked why she wasn't in uni. She said she's done studying and is just waiting to go off to Scotland to continue (Oh noes! Don't leave me Bestie! T_T).
She wants me to visit, but I raised the question of where I would stay, where I would eat and sleep, and most importantly, where I would poop.

Her solution was to keep me in a tiny box (so I wouldn't grow up and lose my cuteness) and feed me carrots.

The perfect answer, except for one thing.

I am carnivorous.

Anyway, this might give you a poor impression of Bestie (she should at least know what her bestie eats, right!? I bet even you could guess. Go on; you'll win a yellow toenail clipping if you get it right), but I suppose I deserve it, as having invited her to the Sunshine State, I told her that she should exhale, hold her breath, stuff herself into a small piece of luggage and mail herself over before bursting out, running away from the authorities and walking from the airport to my house.

I was then supposed to take her to the beach, where we would
SURF 'TILL THE SUN SETS BEYOND THE HORIZON.

And that's the story of the bestest best friends in the whole wide world.

The End.

Escalation

2009-08-25T21:27:00.007+10:00

*************************

It all began here...

..and here.

- VoiD - says (10:51 PM):

poke

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:51 PM):

stab

- VoiD - says (10:52 PM):

chainsaw

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:52 PM):

penknife

- VoiD - says (10:52 PM):

penknife like a bit the step down from chainsaw right

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:52 PM):

sledgehammer?

- VoiD - says (10:52 PM):

why your escalation so lousy

still lose to chainsaw wat

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:53 PM):

bulldozer!

confirm mampus

- VoiD - says (10:53 PM):

TROUTSLAP

the deadliest weapon known to man

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:54 PM):

that's if you're the only man on earth

which you are not

hah!

- VoiD - says (10:54 PM):

what nonsense

troutslap damn strong ok

i slap you with a trout your ovaries also will come out

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:55 PM):

T________T

damn lame

bulldoze over your troutslap

- VoiD - says (10:55 PM):

i slap your bulldozer with my trout you know what will happen ar?

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:56 PM):

your trout will die

on impact

- VoiD - says (10:56 PM):

the engine will tercabut and the pistons will fly out and smack you in the face causing your ovaries to tercabut ok

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:56 PM):

stop hitting on my ovaries!

- VoiD - says (10:57 PM):

it is the only way to ensure that your curse dies with you and is not passed on to another generation

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:57 PM):

WHAT CURSE

- VoiD - says (10:57 PM):

oops

i have said too much

nothing nothing

watch tv, go

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (10:58 PM):

...

TELL!

- VoiD - says (10:58 PM):

lol

Let your nads hang low

2009-08-25T21:16:00.002+10:00

VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:13 PM):

you might want to modify your msn tagline seriously

like really really do it right now

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:13 PM):

what why

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:14 PM):

you know what nads are right

lololol

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:15 PM):

HA?

nads is my nickname lah

that's all i know. got others meh

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:15 PM):

hahahhahhaa

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:15 PM):

what's nads?

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:15 PM):

lol

er ask someone?

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:16 PM):

asking you lah dumbo

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:16 PM):

ask someone at the library

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:16 PM):

oh it means balls issit

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:16 PM):

hahaha

you googled it or what

who's been calling you nads

go slap them seriously

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:17 PM):

close friends lahhh

short for nadia

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:17 PM):

my god

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:17 PM):

only you mengader ok

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:17 PM):

they're not your close friends if they've been calling you testicles

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:17 PM):

think that ti's something else and you say i'm dirrty minded

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:18 PM):

i thought i was doing you a favour by telling you that you are calling yourself testicles in your msn and asking you to change it

if you want i can keep quiet about stuff like that next time

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:21 PM):

LOL ok i change

omg just realized, it's nads and then "still hangin"

hahahaha

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:22 PM):

and still wanna scold me summore

i must immortalize this as well.

your collection is growing by the day

Aidan * BoIng revo em pilf, nwod edispu m'I +61430792772 says (3:23 PM):

.....

idiot

- VoiD - she's too hot. My eyes will catch on fire says (3:33 PM):

this from the girl who got annoyed cos i kindly told her she was calling herself testicles...

then subsequently changed her name from nads to NUT...

which STILL MEANS TESTICLE

YOU. CANNOT. LAUGH.

2009-08-25T20:29:00.005+10:00

Student 1

ahah then radiology perfect for u

Student 2

sit in my room, talk into a mike

go home

Student 1

make sure u have ur children early

Student 2

happy

lol

radiologist damn little rads wat

it's the radiographers who get it

Student 1

depends i guess

if u do interventional stuff

if u just wanna report prolly safe

Student 1

wow u aim high

Student 1

u want to look at pictures and talk into microphone

Student 2

look at pics damn fun

Student 2

i tried a few cts and x-rays

i get it wrong la

Student 1

hahah keep pics of stuff in ass

Student 2

but it's fun to figure them out

Student 1

got someone with carrot in ass the other day

Student 2

ugh

well i'd rather be the person laughing at the xray than the person pulling the carrot out

or cutting him open to remove it

Student 1

they were like does ur wife know whats happening

hes like um.. she put it there

LOL

Student 2

or the poor bastard who has to NOT laugh and calmly discuss the carrot in ass situation with the patient

Student 1

nah we all laugh

some radiographers forward it to everyone

Student 2

you wont always have that luxury

eg....
there was a patient my cousin's friend saw

Student 1

hahah

Student 2

fell in a club

brought into ed

Student 2

refused to have his jeans cut off

Student 1

Student 2

very adamant

Student 1

always bad

Student 2

but in the end they did it of course

snip snip

out falls a salami

WHAT DO YOU DO

Student 1

OH GG

Student 2

YOU CAN'T LAUGH

Student 1

i would fucking laugh

Student 2

YOU

CANNOT

LAUGH

FUCKKKKKK

Student 1

seroiusly

of course can

Student 2

seriously

Student 2

this is not a laugh together situation

he's like

Student 1

hahhaha

Student 2

YOU CANNOT CUT MY JEANS OFF

Student 1

laugh together

Student 2

then you cut it off

how to laugh together?

Student 1

hhahahaha

anyway dont laugh with him lah

laugh behind his back

Student 2

ya la

Student 1

take a minute go out of the room

then come back

Student 2

but that instant

when you cut it off

Student 1
i would let out a snigger

or a giggle

Student 1

depending on my mood

Student 2

i think i might have burst out laughing

and kena sue or some shit

Student 1

i woulda giggled

lol

Student 2

or punched

Student 1

wont sue u

u have not done anything that is ethically wrong

Student 2

or stabbed with the cannula i was holding

Student 1

mirth is not sue-able

***************************

The above story may or may not be completely fictional. Plus there are no names or dates or locations anywhere.

NO ONE SUES ANYONE!

I can haz euthanasia?

2009-08-13T17:25:00.008+10:00

I went snowboarding with my cousin Jason during my elective in Melbourne.

I admit, I believed I would naturally pick it up with ease, the way I did with scuba-diving and ice-skating. Unfortunately, snowboarding proved to be a bit less noob-friendly; something on the tier of foosball, but with about 78345 times more pain involved.

Up to this point I had only had a passing acquaintance with that mysteriously mysterious mystery of a substance known as snow; I'd stood knee high in the stuff on a glacier in New Zealand, and tramped on it 'till my shoe soles froze and cracked in Yosemite in the US. But it was nevertheless very much a 'Hi-Bye' sort of relationship.
During the snowboarding trip, however, it became something more like a 'it's-been-too-long-muax-muax-hug-French-Kiss-get-a-room-and-be-raped-up-the-ass' kind of relationship.

Cousin: Let's go snowboarding!

Me: YAY! Let's!!!

Cousin: We'll start on this beginner slope. Wheeeeeeee

Me: Yay!

Snow: I KEEL YOU!

Me: What? PLSNO

Snow: MUAX

Cousin: Woah, nasty stack. You ok?

Me: One sec. I seem to have displaced several organs from their rightful positions.

Cousin: Let's try this intermediate slope!

Me: Wait, what?

Cousin: Wheeeeeeeeeee

Me: OHSHI-

Snow: INTIMATE HUG

Me: When will the hurting stop?

Cousin: Go faster!

Me: But I left some entrails a few hundred metres back. Can I go retrieve them?

Cousin: No.

Me: But I think I need those to survive!

Cousin: Let's try this advanced slope!

Me: But I-

Cousin: Wheeeeeeeeeeee

Me: SWEETMOTHEROF-

Snow: IAMYOURFRIEND

Me: HOLY FUCK MY FOOT JUST WENT CLEAN THROUGH MY INTESTINES AND CAME OUT THROUGH MY EYE.

Cousin: You alright?

Me: Let me see... HOW 'BOUT NO?

Cousin: Oh look over there! The SPINERIPPING PROFESSIONAL SLOPE OF MANSLAUGHTER! Let's go! Wheeeeeeeeeee

Me: WTF DO YOU THINK YOU'RE-

Snow: Hi!

Me: GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY ANATOMYYYYYYY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Cousin: Hi, I seem to have lost my cousin somewhere, have you seen him? He's 5 foot 10-

Me: It's me.

Cousin: Oh, I didn't recognize you. I thought you were some sort of mutant octopus.

Me: Please... What time is it?

Cousin: About 11. We have 5 hours to go!

Me: Kill me... Kill me now.

Snow: Hey, bend over. Sorry, but I don't have any lube.

Me: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Snow: Yes. That's EXACTLY what I'm about to do.

Make Hot My Pizza

2009-08-13T17:07:00.004+10:00

Me: So what're you having for dinner?

Nadia: Pizza. But I haven't make hot yet.

Me: Wait... what?

Nadia: I haven't make hot my pizza.

Me: Wha... But... That's... You can't...

Nadia: What?

Me: OMFGWTF THAT IS NOT HOW ENGLISH WORKS.

Nadia: What's wrong with 'make hot my pizza'?! Everyone uses it!

Me: Who's this 'everyone'!?

Nadia: Well, my mother uses it!

Me: MAH HEAD ASPLODE. 'You and your mother' does not constitute 'everyone'! You know who constitutes 'everyone'??? Everyone and their mother, that's who!

Nadia: Can what! No meh?

Me: You know what? Never mind.

*************************************************************
Later:

Me: Hey, you didn't put your drinks in the fridge. Don't you want to MAKE COLD YOUR BEER?

Nadia: .....

Me: You left the porch lights on. Are you going outside to MAKE SMOKED YOUR CIGARETTES?

Nadia: -_-"

Me: What? Can what, no meh?

Nadia: .....

Me: Anyway, I go MAKE COOKED MY NOODLES.

Nadia: !!!

*************************************************************
Later still:

Nadia: Hey, do we have a bottle opener? I need one for my beer.

Me: Nope. But if you gimme a sec to MAKE WASHED MY POT, I will come and MAKE OPENED YOUR BOTTLE with a spoon.

Nadia: SHADDUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Me: Don't you mean MAKE SHUT YOUR UP?

Who Internalizes the Interns?

2009-08-06T21:22:00.002+10:00

All the desperate hospitals will look up and shout; 'Join us!'.

And I'll look down and whisper; 'Possibly.'

If you can make heads or tails of this post, you win a yellow toenail clipping.

Sometimes I fail to understand how I can possibly be so fucking awesome.

Siew Li!!!

2009-07-20T01:54:00.002+10:00

SIEW LI!!! For you, I would even almost maybe consider eating vegetables, possibly!

What's that, you say, dear reader?
You've never met someone for whom you would even almost maybe consider eating vegetables, possibly?
Then you, my friend, know not the meaning of love or sacrifice.
YOU HAVE NOT LIVED.

Disclaimer: Dear Siew Li; if by some freakishly random accident or terrible act of malevolence on the part of one of my friends you somehow wind up reading this, please do not think I am some strange and twisted stalker. Please!

I'm only a twisted stalker. I'm not strange.

mmmmm... siewwwliiiii

Mercurial

2009-06-23T22:49:00.004+10:00

Been awhile since I updated; was just too lazy and short of anything really interesting to post until now.

It was my cousin's birthday on the 21st of June, and I decided to make her something instead of just taking the easy way out and buying her a gift. Since I hadn't done anything artsy for ages, I went with a picture; only this time I decided to use colour and do it on my computer, instead of pencil-in-sketchbook as per usual. The plan is to get the thing printed out professionally on glossy paper and put it in a nice frame. That stuff is pending, but over the past couple o' days I finished the picture in soft copy.

Here's a play-by-play:

I started with a few reference pictures like the one here. Generally, if I find one that is perfect for what I had in mind, I use that and recreate it as closely as I can manage. If I don't, I take a few different pictures and make a composite of them instead. In this case since I also had the real person handy, I did some running back and forth and staring at her and such. She randomly comes and stares at me all the time, so she had no excuse not to put up with it. Ignore the silly pouty-lip look, young girls like to do that for some incomprehensible reason.I started off with a tablet and mouse sketch of her in MS Paint. I zoomed far out and used the tablet to get a higher resolution look, and so that the lines were smoother. I zoomed in and used the mouse when precision was required. Contrary to popular belief, I find that the tablet is only good for sketching and rough lines; things which can also be done with a mouse. This means that I can in fact do all my drawings with only a mouse, but NOT with only a tablet. Her eyes are the only parts of the picture which have been coloured in at this stage; they were the main focus of what I had in mind and I wanted to be sure I could get the look right before I committed to finishing the rest of the picture.

I filled in the back and foreground using some rough sketching and the spraypaint tool. This requires a massive amount of effort to get right. I also touched-up her hair, as at this point I began to realize that it looked too glossy to fit with the scene. Note that I converted these pics to JPEG to upload here, and this greatly degraded the colour and resolution. The originals are still in bitmap form.

Using the same technique, but with much greater care and precision, I coloured her in and further touched up her hair.

Finally, I used Photoshop's Smudge on the foreground, moon, and stars to give them a water-coloured appearance, and Blur on the entire picture, giving the rest of it a pen, crayon, and colour-pencil appearance as well as reducing the pixellated look.
The insignia, title, signature, and year completed the piece.

I know the composition of the picture is a bit unusual-looking, and it's not that stellar a result, but considering it's a first effort I'm quite satisfied with my work.
Will take it to a photography store tomorrow.
Here's hoping she likes it; but she's real picky so I'm not getting my hopes up.

Those Who Fight Further

2009-05-12T18:34:00.003+10:00

It is a well-known fact that the more desperately you have responsibilities to fulfill, the more distractions you suddenly find sprouting up everywhere around you.

All of a sudden you feel like you absolutely have to cut your fingernails, or examine that interesting spot on the wall, or watch the mold grow in your transparent water-bottle.

Anything, anything, but get back to work.

Which is what I'm doing here; despite having things happen to me which are quite worthy of talking about, there is never any time to actually talk about them except when I don't actually have time; if you can figure that one out.

I shall restrain myself. An interesting post or two will follow after the Paediatrics exam, which is, incidentally, in two days.

And that brings me to what I have to say.

THE END COMETH, BUT I SHALL GO DOWN KICKING AND SCREAMING.
BRING IT ON, KIDS. WHEN THE DUST SETTLES IT IS I WHO SHALL BE LEFT STANDING.

Piak-ing

2009-04-28T20:47:00.000+10:00

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS MUAHAHAHA says (8:24 PM):

hey how long is your lease?

1 year?

~Shuenie~ says (8:26 PM):

yea

y ah?

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS MUAHAHAHA says(8:27 PM):

oh nothing just asking

~Shuenie~ says (8:27 PM):

lolz

y so random wan

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS
MUAHAHAHA says (8:28 PM):

nothing

do you like watermelons and purple dinosaurs?

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS
MUAHAHAHA says (8:29 PM):

my orange book is orange

there is no spoon.

~Shuenie~ says (8:31 PM):

hmm

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS
MUAHAHAHA says (8:31 PM):

indeed!

~Shuenie~ says (8:31 PM):

piak piak piak

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS
MUAHAHAHA says (8:31 PM):

LOL

*dodge dodge dodge*

~Shuenie~ says (8:31 PM):

there is only so much dodges u can achieve =p

- VoiD - YES I PASSED I PASSED TAKE THAT PLACENTAS
MUAHAHAHA says (8:34 PM):

there are only so many piaks you can dish out

~Shuenie~ says (8:38 PM):

u underestimate the power of a gal ;p

piak-ing is like our second nature

Mythbusters

2009-04-15T00:49:00.002+10:00

My aunt forwarded this email to me today:

> What a world we live in........
> A few weeks ago in a movie theatre in Melbourne a person sat on
> something that was poking out of one of the seats.
> When she got up to see what it was she found a needle sticking out Of
> the seat with a note attached saying a quote; 'You have just been
> infected by HIV' quote..
>
> The Disease control Centre in Melbourne reports many similar incidents
> have occurred in many other Australian cities recently.
> All tested needles are HIV Positive.
> The Centre also reports that needles have been found in the cash
> dispensers in ATMs. We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced
> with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected
> with vigilance and caution before use.
>
> 17 people have been tested positive in the Western suburbs alone in the
> last 2 months!!! A careful visual inspection should be enough.
> In addition they ask that each of you pass this message along to all
> members of your family and your friends of the potential danger. We all
> have to be careful at public places! This is very important.
> Just think about saving a life of someone even you don't know by
> forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass it along.

I replied:

Just another urban legend, disproved many times.
No reports of people purposefully leaving HIV-positive blood-filled syringes to infect others have ever been recorded. Try asking your local police station.

Also:
HIV does not remain viable outside a host indefinitely. Inside a well sealed-syringe; maybe about a month. On the tip of a needle; only a few hours.

You can't test for HIV in 2 months.

It takes at least about 6.

HIV is not as infective as this email would have you believe. You can prick yourself 100 times repeatedly and the probability would still be higher that you would be uninfected. For the 17 people in this hoax to have been infected, more than 5000 people would need to have been pricked by more than 5000 needles left in more than 5000 seats and ATMs across Australia. Even assuming that those needles were prepared by psychotic homocidal AIDS patients who used 1 litre of their own blood to make a HUNDRED 10ml infected needles EACH, you still need at least 50 psychotic homocidal AIDS patients working together day and night to pull this off.

Before you start forwarding, the email about: the melting contact lens, the computer virus CNN and Microsoft are panicking about, plastic bottles causing cancer, Colgate causing cancer, Coca-cola causing cancer, the little girl with no face who will stab you at night if you don't forward her email to 300 people, the maggots growing in breasts, the petrol exploding if your cellphone rings, the UFOs, Godzilla, Bill Gates giving you money for emails you forward, the widowed princess in Nigeria who wants to give you 12 billion dollars, shampoo causing cancer, and sitting still and not forwarding emails causing cancer, are in fact all quite untrue.

'The squirrel has not yet found the acorn that will grow into the oak that will be cut to form the cradle of the babe who will grow to slay me.'

Time in Time Forgotten: A Strange Dream

2009-04-05T18:29:00.003+10:00

Time in Time Forgotten; that was the clue I had.
I was looking for something; something of massive importance, but I didn't know what it was.
All I knew was that clue I had. I didn't know its significance, or where I had found it, or what I was looking for, or why. But I had to find it.

I was in a room.
It was old; falling apart, even.
In front of me were two closed windows. I knew that beyond them was not the outdoors, but more of the house's interior. To the left of the windows was a door. It was locked. It led into a corridor. How I knew this was inexplicable; the door was the only way into the room and yet it was not how I had entered.
The room was lined by rotting brown cupboards. The wall above was a pale, peeling, sickly green. It was a hateful colour.
I did not look at the ceiling, but it must have been full of holes because sunlight filtered weakly in; reflecting off a million particles of dust that hung lazily in the stale air. It was my only illumination.

I searched for the thing I had to find; Time in Time Forgotten.
It was well hidden, but I found it quickly.

Above one of the rotting cupboards, there was a small old wooden clock. It had stopped working long ago. It had been painted completely with the same sickly green paint that covered the walls, which rendered it well camouflaged. Only someone looking for it would have seen it.
The paint had covered the old clock so completely that it had more or less been glued to the wall. The very space between the clock and the wall had been completely filled in by the paint.
I scraped the paint away around the sides and pulled the clock down. It was dusty and ancient.

I put the clock face downwards and pried the back off.
There, hidden in the clock's mechanical innards, was the inside of a small wristwatch. The strap, back, and face were all missing. All that was left was the internal mechanism. It would not even have been recognizable to most people as a watch, but as a child I had taken many apart and was familiar with what they looked like. Attached to it was a small strip of metal which I recognized immediately from my old highschool chemistry classes. It was magnesium tape.
Whatever I was looking for was inside the workings of this wristwatch, and the tape was attached to it for some reason. What I held in my hand was vastly important. That was all I knew.

Suddenly, the knob on the door rattled. Someone was trying the lock.
I went to look through the cracks in the wood.
A silhouette moved behind the door, and an eye stared right back at me. There was someone there trying to get in; trying to get at what I had found, and they were deeply malicious. They wanted the watch, and they wanted my life.
A fist pounded at one of the windows where yet another person was trying to get in. There were two of them out there.
I was trapped. They wanted the watch, and the window was not going to hold. They would get in soon, and the implications of that were horrifiying, though I did not completely understand why.
I cast my eyes around desperately, looking for something; anything which I could use to my advantage. Something to defend myself with, a means to escape, a place to hide the watch, anything.
The magnesium tape would burn like a fuse, I knew that much. Was there some way I could use that? As a weapon? Was it meant to light something in the watch? I did not know. In any case, there was nothing to light the tape with.
There was a wooden beam running above me. Could I hide the watch on top of it, out of sight?
No, the room was small and there weren't many places to search. It would be discovered immediately.

A fist burst through the window and scrabbled around for purchase. They were almost through now.

I ripped the magnesium tape out of the old mechanism and twisted it around my fingers a few times. I would have to find a replacement for the watch later.
This one, I used as a crude blade. I ran it viciously down the arm at the window; giving it a huge gash and drawing much blood. There was a loud cry of pain, but the arm did not withdraw. It continued to work at the window for a way to get in. The determination behind that arm was incredible. I kept slashing away at it, but they would not give up. They meant to get in, get the watch, and kill me.

There was nothing more I could do. They would be in the room shortly, and then it would all be over. I was frantic, my mind racing for ideas, but the better part of me was resigned. I had failed and would pay with not only my life, but some terrible, yet vague and unforseen consequence.

The windows gave way, and they got in.

SUDDENLY CONAN THE BARBARIAN CAME AND SAVED MY LIFE!

THE END.

Drive and Determination

2009-03-24T21:44:00.003+10:00

I am absolutely determined not to kill a baby by accident; thus I am studying from the very beginning of the Paediatrics rotation.

If I kill a baby, it should be on purpose.

On a related note, the light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible. It looks like I may actually somehow graduate and become a doctor.

Wow.

Dr Me. Awesome!

I know that at this realization, hundreds will quake in their shoes and pull their covers tighter over themselves at night.

Finally, I will gradute from paying to suffer... to, well... getting paid to suffer I guess.
Hey, it's still an improvement. I'll take my small victories; they're all I've got.

Now, any of you have kids that need looking after? ';,,;'

Cheater

2009-03-19T01:51:00.004+10:00

A group of us were sitting and having ice-cream when the subject of medical school exams at the UQ came up.

Someone pointed out that it was easy to cheat; which we all agreed on. Security is lax, and we often see rampant cheating occuring during certain exams.

Then someone mentioned that he would cheat, given the opportunity.

Fair enough. That someone did not exactly have the respect of many to begin with. It was no surprise, and it didn't really bother anyone what sort of moral compass he kept; that was his own business.

No.

What ruffled feathers was this.
The rest of us said we would not cheat. At that, he scoffed and called us liars in so many words. He told us that we were being ridiculous, challenged our claims of honesty, and basically told us that if we had seen an answer sheet or some such lying around, we would definitely have looked at it.
He also said that cheating in a medical exam would in no way reflect on whether you were a good doctor.

At this, everyone bristled. The table was quiet.
Some fairly stared at him, utterly shocked that anyone would say such things.
I said 'No, I'd say that it definitely WOULD reflect on what kind of doctor you were.'
And I refuted his accusation by saying that I had in fact been in that position; I was in an office alone with the next exam paper sitting on the table in front of me. I could have picked it up and read it with ease.
I did not cheat.

He said 'Yeah, that's different. You didn't do it because you were afraid of getting caught.'

A fuse blew right then. I could hardly believe my ears.
Just what the fuck was this guy thinking? Was he deliberately trying to earn a fist right in his slimy face?
Did he really think that just because he was a spineless cowardly scumbag, that it meant everyone else had morals as degenerate as his?

Are you fucking kidding me?
Which infected orifice did this dumbass pull that sort of claim out from?

'I would have cheated, so all of you would have as well.'?

Grow.
The.
Fuck.
Up.

I don't care how smart or right you think you are. I don't care that you might read this and know that I'm talking about you (it's pretty damned obvious to everyone who was there that night who I'm talking about, I'm making no attempts to hide it).

I want you to know that your behaviour is utterly offensive and disgusting.
PLEASE DIE IN A FIRE. THE GOD OF HATRED DEMANDS IT.

Dark God of Hatred

2009-03-15T23:02:00.002+10:00

So I recently discovered that I am in fact the human Avatar incarnate of the Dark God of Hatred.
Which meant I needed a new display pic.

Admit it. Words cannot express THE AWESOME.

Dark God of Hatred-
Hates you until persuaded otherwise.
Hates first, asks questions later.
No one, no one, no one... Can get in the way of the Hate I feel for you...
I hate the whole world, it's such a hateful place. Boom-de-yadda, boom-de-yadda, boom-de-yadda, boom-de-yadda...
Hates you, hates everything, hates everyone and their mother.

If a Dinasour is a Sour Dina, what is a Tahousand?

2009-02-16T21:43:00.007+10:00

Once upon a time, Hee How the Half-naked Housemate from Hell buys candy that has 'Dinosaur' on the packaging in big friendly colourful letters.

Unfortunately, Hee How does not know how to spell 'Dinosaur'.

Hilarity ensues.

******************************************************

Evelyn says (9:25 PM):

sorry... actually a bit scared of dark la

Evelyn says (9:26 PM):

tot u knew i am scared of everything

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:26
PM):

u scared got DINASOUR hide in the shadows come out bite u right

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:26
PM):

don't worry la

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:26
PM):

i will eat them all

Evelyn says (9:26 PM):

DINASOUR

Evelyn says (9:26 PM):

hahaha

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:26
PM):

DINASOURRR

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a tent,any1
has one? has been added to the conversation.

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

eugene and his DINASOURRR

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:27
PM):

DINASOURRRRRR

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a
tent,any1 has one? says (9:27 PM):

huh?

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

eugene say something

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

we talking about u la

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

DINASOURRRRR

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a
tent,any1 has one? says (9:27 PM):

i say.....hahaha

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

no la eugene

Evelyn says (9:27 PM):

must say heh heh heh

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:28
PM):

deeenaaassaaawwweeerrrr

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:30
PM):

what is a dinasour eugene? pls tell

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a
tent,any1 has one? says (9:31 PM):

in ancient history

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a
tent,any1 has one? says (9:31 PM):

long long time ago

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:31
PM):

LOL ANCIENT HISTORY

Eugene@Bris--Need to borrow a
tent,any1 has one? says (9:31 PM):

a dinosaur was sacrificed into the volcano spewing with sour lava

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:31
PM):

WRONGGGG

- VoiD - was friggin robbed. says (9:31
PM):

a dinasour is a sour dina